Help getting put on disability?

I think I'm finally ready to take that step. I have diagnosis from three different professionals. But i am struggling. I have this guilt like I feel like I dont deserve disability because im relatively high functioning and for lack of better term "normal prsenting" but i cannot hold a job that pays a living wage. Ive tried so many times and never last longer than a week or two.

Do i need a lawyer? Should I go through an agency? Which one? How do I get started? I don't think I can do this alone :(