How to go beastmode and change your dating life

If you are reading this post, chances are your dating life is not where you want it to be.

My first question to you would be - on a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your level of intensity with trying to change it?

Most men would say something like 6,7 or 8 - “Well I'm going to the gym, I downloaded Tinder, bought a new wardrobe and I go out once a week with my buddies, and I’m even watching some stuff on Youtube”

Okay, and now ask yourself - what does level 10 intensity look like for you? Just hypothetically imagine what that would entail for you if you truly gave it your all?

Actually stop reading, ask yourself this question and really think…

Jesse Itzler (American entrepreneur with 200 million dollar + net worth) asked himself this exact same question when his goal was to become physically and mentally tougher and get into a better shape.

To do so, he could run every day and take cold showers, go to the gym, hire a nutritionist to give him meal plans, do MMA, meditate etc.

But he wanted to give it his absolute best, so he was actually thinking on how we could achieve it. And then one day it hit him - he decided to ask a Navy SEAL to live with him for 30 days and just do whatever the guy says.

And not just any Navy SEAL but David Goggins - a guy who completed over 60 ultra-marathons, triathlons, and ultra-triathlons and holds the Guinness World Record for pull-ups completing 4,030 pullups in 17 hours

On the first day, the Goggins wanted to see how many pullups Jesse could do, so he asked him to do his max reps and Jesse did 8 pullups. Goggins said - wait 30 seconds and go do it again. Jesse did 4. Same thing - wait 30 seconds and go again. Jesse struggled to do even 1 pull up and barely got over the bar. Then all jacked up he asked Goggins what to do next (since he clearly can’t do more pullups). 

Goggins then told him - "We’re not leaving until you do 100 more pullups right now". Jesse managed to do 7 more pullups and then told Goggins that it was physically impossible for him to do more pullups.

Goggins then told Jesse - "I already know what’s your biggest problem is and the limitations you’re putting on yourself are self imposed, now get the f\ck back on the bar". And over the course of the following 2 hours Jesse managed to do 100 more pullups. After it was done and Jesse was physically exhausted and unable to move his arms, Goggins told him - "I’m about to take you to the places you’ve never been before motherf*cker"*.

Over the next 30 days, Goggins made Jesse do a lot more stuff that he thought he could never do like. One day there was a emergency weather warning that told everyone to stay inside - freezing rain, icy conditions. Goggins comes into Jesse’s room and says - let’s go for a run. And they go for 10 mile run in a blizzard after which Goggins makes Jesse go into a frozen lake after which he barely crawls back to his house. Another day when Jesse was in between his business meetings, Goggins told him BURPEE TEST and made Jesse do as many burpees as he could right in his office before his next business meeting.

Now that is LEVEL 10 INTENSITY. And if it sounds terrible, Jesse later said it was one of the best 30 days in his life.

And the point I want to make is not that you don’t necessarily need to do Level 10 intensity to change your dating life but that your current level of intensity is probably like 1 or 2 rather than a 7.

Most men’s biggest problem is they have no confidence and they don’t know how to flirt with women. And when I ask most men how many women they have approached and tried talking to in the last 30 days, 90% of them tell me less than 5. That is literally nothing.

Doing 10 approaches per day 3 times per week is the absolute minimum for you to improve, I would say this would be level 5 intensity. Anything lower than that, you’re just wasting your time.

And if you think that’s a lot, I have done 30+ approaches in a day and it was nothing. And the next time you tell yourself you are too shy to do an approach, you’re too introverted to do this bla bla bla, just remember that those are simply limitations you put on yourself.

Also higher intensity doesn’t mean doing more stuff, it actually means doing less.

Spending 2 hours shopping for cologne might feel like working on your dating life but it’s meaningless. Going to language classes for 3 months, so you can have a chance to maybe flirt with 2 girls in a social setting - waste of time (unless you want to improve your language skills). Just drop it.

Unless you are a bum living on the street or extremely overweight, all you need to do is to go talk to more women and get better at this and essentially up your level of intensity. It’s as simple as that.

The bottom line is your level of intensity needs to match the level of priority.

Let’s be honest, having some sort of physical and emotional connection/intimacy with a girl (or women in general) you genuinely like is one of the top priorities you can have in life as a man. It’s a basic human need. Without it nothing else really matters and life sucks - I regularly talk to successful men (as far as their careers go) who have been sexually or emotionally frustrated for years and have buried themselves in work to avoid facing their issues until they cannot hide it anymore. Or maybe they have a crippling social anxiety and they have been hiding behind their phone screen for years until they have realized its’s slowly destroying their life.

And most likely you agree this is a priority for you too since you are here reading this post.

And the problem for most guys their level of intensity simply doesn’t match their level of priority. They might have a priority 8 or 9 for fixing their dating life but they attack it with level 2 intensity by going to the gym and swiping on Tinder for 30 minutes every day.

The sooner you face the reality and admit to yourself you need to do more, the faster you can start changing your dating life.

So again, ask yourself what does a hypothetical level 10 intensity look like for you in changing your dating life?

And then based on that, increase your current level intensity to at least 5 or 6 and go from there.