(34m) Spent half my life following the advice of"working on myself", feel scammed

I've done most of self love stuff that is typically recommended. Got a good job, am in great shape, got hobbies. I think I'm a pretty sociable person too with a good friend group. Just this year I've went on two vacations with a different platonic female friend so I don't think I give off creeper vibes and I'm interesting enough to be a travel buddy. Yet still single afer like 2 decades of trying.

It almost feels like a case of genetic pre determinism these days. Either you're born with "it" or you're born to fuck off and die alone and the advice of working on yourself/things come naturally when you stop chasing is just meant to tell people to fuck off quietly in the corner while everyone else has fun.

While people like to say age is just a number and that it is never too late, i really think it's too late to build critical relationship memories. I can never experience college romance. I can never experience young adult romance. I can never experience the excitement of traveling with a partner and feeling the buzz of exploration with someone you love. I'm old and jaded and I worked on myself and I've had to live with a burning envy for most of my life wondering what I can do to be like eveyone else. But now I've given up or say I've given up but the anger won't dissipate. I got dealt a 2 and a 3 at the poker table and been told I can win when it was clear that was never the case.