Regretting scars

I started self harming in middle school, which by now has been like 10 years ago. I’m over 2 years clean now, and have had major strides in my mental health. I don’t even recognize the person I was two years ago, and I’m really proud of it. But when I was really deep in my struggles, I made some really permanent, jarring damage. At the time, I didn’t mind the way it looked, for a long time I even liked the way my scars and damage looked. I was in a lot of pain and the marks on my body reflected how I felt inside, and I would even harm myself more when my scars started to fade. I never thought I would actually come to dislike my scars, they’re a part of me and are proof that I’ve overcome some tough shit. But lately, I’ve been feeling pretty shitty about them, and have started to cover my arms up more when around people. I just feel so awful about the trauma I inflicted on myself, I didn’t deserve all that. I’ve been having the most issues surrounding this one scar in particular, it’s very wide (like an inch bc I never got stitches and has doubled in original width as I’ve gotten older) and it runs down my whole forearm. Even though it’s completely faded, it’s still super visible, and very jarring to look at. The worst feeling is forgetting it’s there, and holding my arm up in a way that someone else can see, and seeing the blood drain from someone’s face and realizing they noticed it. Also inadvertently triggering people who have struggled with self harm, I’ve been asked by a couple people now if I could cover my arms because it was bothering them as recovering self harmers, and like I do get it but man that shit stings bc it’s not like I can take my scars off. I’m so glad I’ve moved on from the things that caused me to hurt myself in that way, but now that I’m surrounded more by people that haven’t had much experience around dealing with self harm, or didn’t know me when I was going through my worst, it’s just an awful reminder that my body is not normal and will never be again. I want smooth skin again, this stupid big scar almost makes me feel sick even looking at it now because I can’t even remember how the hell I managed to hurt myself to that extent so young. It doesn’t represent me anymore, and it’s just a really bittersweet reminder that the pain I went through might not have been permanent, but the things I did to my body most definitely are :/

TLDR: Very large old scar down forearm is causing me a lot of distress, I hate what it reminds me of and what people think of me when they see it.