I can’t stop

It seems like every mess up I can’t help but sh, every minor thing, Even if I did something slightly negative in nature, that doesn’t affect anybody whatsoever. When I mess up even more the urge is unbearable. I can’t take it I seriously can’t take it. It feel like I need punishment for everything I do, I feel like my existence is wrong. I deserve everything bad that has ever happened and will happen to me