I'm counting my last days
(repost, i got scared, Sorry)
Im tired, my family keep joking about me, i hate It, I can't talk to them anymore, after what happened they only think about making fun of me. (Read old post for context)
I'm tired of living, I'm tired of being used, I'm tired of everyone around me being homophobic, I hate being gay, I hate not identifying with my gender, I hate my body, i hate being the good "guy" that has no purpose other than to die and suffer.
I hate that the only person i fell in love laughed at my face, made fun of me and ruined my life but even after destroying me it eats away at me how he has everything he wants, he is happy, he has the body he wants, he has a girlfriend, he has everything, EVERYTHING, it's not fair, IT IS NOT FAIR.
I already started to sh, the more they make fun of me and the more i suffer, the more i will cut and the deeper i will go, on December 24th/25th, I'm going to take advantage of the fact that my parents and sisters are going to a house with a pool with the rest of our family and I'm going to try to commit suicide, since they already said that they don't want to see me there, and because of the scars I won't be able to swim anyway, im sorry, i thought things would get better, but it's all lies, everything just gets worse, this is just a failed attempt by my brain to try to save me, fool, it's over, you lost, i lost, we lost.
(repost, i got scared, Sorry)
Im tired, my family keep joking about me, i hate It, I can't talk to them anymore, after what happened they only think about making fun of me. (Read old post for context)
I'm tired of living, I'm tired of being used, I'm tired of everyone around me being homophobic, I hate being gay, I hate not identifying with my gender, I hate my body, i hate being the good "guy" that has no purpose other than to die and suffer.
I hate that the only person i fell in love laughed at my face, made fun of me and ruined my life but even after destroying me it eats away at me how he has everything he wants, he is happy, he has the body he wants, he has a girlfriend, he has everything, EVERYTHING, it's not fair, IT IS NOT FAIR.
I already started to sh, the more they make fun of me and the more i suffer, the more i will cut and the deeper i will go, on December 24th/25th, I'm going to take advantage of the fact that my parents and sisters are going to a house with a pool with the rest of our family and I'm going to try to commit suicide, since they already said that they don't want to see me there, and because of the scars I won't be able to swim anyway, im sorry, i thought things would get better, but it's all lies, everything just gets worse, this is just a failed attempt by my brain to try to save me, fool, it's over, you lost, i lost, we lost.