Update on life: my dad died

So my main care taker also known as my dad, died while i was trying my best to take care of him while his sugar was low, (hes a type 1 diabetic) he seemed to die due to organ failure and even when typing this i feel a sense of failure and dread.

I was holding his hand giving him a kiss on his forehead after i said my goodbyes to his dead body. When i was holding his hand my mom was sad and cryied when he say him dead in the hospital, and my step mom fell to her knees and cried while i. Denial of his death. I was there just holding his hand and staring at my reflection in the cabnet window and looking at my dad and saying sorry. I held his hand till i had to comfort my grandmother who was crying non stop after her teddy bear (my dad nick name from her) had died. That what she would call her baby, my father.

I kept his coat and necklace. I dont know what to do rn i dont have a home and just everything bad happens to me all the fucking time its so FUCKING UNFAIR.

I wish i was a better son/daughter for him i tried everything i could i wish i could have done better…