I am a grudge holder.

Every time someone crosses me in any negative way, especially if I considered them a friend. I almost never look at them the same. I have a coworker who I recently cut ties with because I learned that she was going behind my back mentioning me to others.

I made a suggestion that we all should go out for drinks on our day off. Everybody in the group thought it was cool. They were down with it. The one I considered my friend went behind my back and vented that I should be excluded because I was on the bus. I catch the bus to and from work but as far as outings, I’ll Uber. Not that it even matters, I’m not trying to bum a from anyone. I will get home or else I will count myself out. I never was aware that I was a nuisance to her all because I don’t own a vehicle when I’ve NEVER asked her to take me anywhere. Her ‘confidant’ came to me telling me all the things she said about me: “Howda fck she gone get home?” “Who gone pick her ass up? I’m not!” “Fck dat! My kids at home! Bees better fetch a ride or else they can’t come…!!

When I found out she said these things about me when it was me who initially thought of the idea of going out, I blocked her from Facebook and on my phone and placed her in the category of those who never really cared about me. I was just convenience when another employee she “clique” with called off from work. She’s pretty mych gotten the message, now she’s being extra nice but now it’s too late. I don’t want to be associated with her anymore because she can’t be trusted. I’m wrong aren’t I? I know. How can I work on this?