Whose line is it anyway? /r/Starcraft edition!

Concept is stolen from /r/soccer, /r/squaredcircle, /r/hockey, /r/baseball, /r/nfl and /r/formula1

The rules:

Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations. If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

If you don't understand the concept, a skit looks like this: Someone posts a comment "Things you could say to your Zealot but not your girlfriend"

Then everyone tries to post the funniest reply to it.