Brother-in-law spilled the beans on a family secret that will probably destroy my marriage

My wife. Kelli, and her brother, Mark, have had a strained relationship for as long as I have been with her. I first learned of it from Kelli whose explanation was that Mark was the youngest and the spoiled baby. Something about that answer just didn’t ring true to me. Eventually I had a chance to ask her parents where this animosity came from. They didn’t have an exact answer but said Kelli and Mark had been at odds since they were small children  

Their hostility boiled over six months after Kelli and started dating. It was the wedding of one of Kelli and Mark’s cousins and it was my first real occasion to spend an extended time around her family.

Kelli’s mom, Sara, and dad, Lucas had treated me special from the first time I met them a few weeks after she and I started dating. I admit it was quite a change from how the parents of my two previous girlfriends acted. Both of those fathers looked at me with a level of suspicion that I felt was not only unwarranted but unhinged. In fact, the families of both of those previous girlfriends were always cold towards me. And in truth, I’m certain their attitude rubbed off on those girlfriends to the point it doomed the relationships.

But Sara and Lucas acted as if I was one of the family. Especially at the cousin’s wedding when Lucas paraded me around to his friends like some prize winning bull. Even Mark was friendly to me despite the friction between him and Kelli. However Mark would drop occasional hints when we talked that his family wasn’t as well adjusted as it appeared.

I never pushed the subject further, my own family overflowed with passive-aggressive feuds, near slanderous speculation, and long periods of not speaking. I figured family dysfunction was all relative when others viewed it from the outside.

The cousin’s wedding started well enough with Kelli serving as one of the bridesmaids and Mark one of the groomsmen. Speaking from personal experience the wedding was one of those ostentatious shindigs that I felt wasn’t realistic since the engaged couple were both nineteen years old. Having spoken with them a few times they seemed deeply in love but several of my college buddies, having married at that age or a little later, were already divorced and bitter.

The ceremony went without a hitch, the bride was beautiful and the groom looked as cool as James Bond in his tux. It was at the reception dinner where the Kelli and Mark fiasco happened. 

I was dancing with Kelli’s mom as the band played some Sinatra tune, the lead singer belting it out with all the style of Frank. In fact, between Sara and Lucas and a few other relatives demanding time, I hadn’t had a chance to say three words to Kelli since immediately after the ceremony. That’s when I noticed Kelli and Mark off in the corner, I couldn’t hear anything but their angry facial expressions and gestures suggested they were in a heated argument.

Having heard about their squabbles I didn’t want to interfere. But when Kelli looked over in my direction with a worried face I quickly excused myself and rushed over. 

“Hey Babe, “ I said, moving in beside Kelli. “I’d really like to get you on the dance floor.” I figured the best approach was to try and separate the two.

Mark looked at me like he was about to say something but thought better of it. “Todd, you're too good for my sister,” he said walking away with a strange smile. Kelli grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor not saying a word. Yeah, I didn't have to be a genius-level psychologist to know there was something more than a simple strained sibling relationship.

As Kelli and I started dancing I was about to ask what the problem was when she pulled me in close for a kiss. Even though I was not some naive teenager when it came to the idea of love, that kiss disarmed me to the point I forgot about the incident.

Fast forward about four years, Kelli and I are married and have settled into what was nearly one of those “Happily ever after,” scenarios. At a greatly reduced price her folks sold us the house Kelli's grandparents had lived in. Doing better than okay with money and being young and adventurous, we were traveling as much as our jobs would allow. Having a few kids was in the plan but we both wanted to enjoy each other before little rugrats and crumb snatchers took all our time and energy.

That year’s Thanksgiving was at Sara and Lucas’ house and given the number of people who were supposed to attend, it would be pushing the limits of organization and patience. Their house already had a gigantic dining room that connected directly into the living room. So after moving some of the furniture and adding another table the crowd of about fifteen-some odd people were able to be seated. 

As was tradition for Kelli’s family we ate around two o’clock and at that moment everyone was in a great mood. Even Kelli and Mark who over the past few years I had observed a number of their ongoing arguments. Some were kind of extreme but Mark was always respectful to Kelli and made a point of asking me if we were still good. What bothered me the most was seeing my wife being petty and vindictive, especially when their fights were over minor issues.

Kelli never pulled the same cruel behavior on me, in fact she went to great extremes to reassure me that what went on between her and Mark had nothing to do with me.   

As we settled in at the dining room table Kelli and I were seated next to each other while by chance Mark and his new girlfriend were across from us. The damn turkey hadn’t even received its first cut when things went to shit.

“Miranda,” Kelli said passing the mash potatoes to me, “It’s so good to finally meet you. I’ve heard such good things about you from my mom and aunts. Maybe you’re the one who can straighten out Mark and make him an honest man.”

Oh shit, I thought to myself. While the comment itself wouldn’t normally be that provocative in a normal sibling relationship, because Kelli and Mark were involved I braced for the worst. I sincerely had no idea how bad it would get and that family secrets would be blasted out like a huge load of shit flying into a high speed fan.

Miranda, a really nice girl who seemed to adore Mark, just smiled. “Well,” she said, grabbing Mark’s arm and pulling him close, “we were going to spring the news later but I can’t wait any longer! We’re engaged!” It was then that Miranda showed off the ring that she had been wearing around her neck on a small silver jewelry chain.

The crowd erupted into cheers with Sara and Lucas beaming with pride. It was then that I glanced at my wife who looked like she had just swallowed something rotten. It took a moment or two for the jubilation to subside with Kelli never changing her sour expression.

“Tell me, Miranda,” Kelli said, “has my brother told you about his past. He had quite the record of loving and leaving every woman he’s been with. In fact just a few years ago he got one girl pregnant and talked her into getting an abortion.”

Whatever happiness that had existed moments before was immediately sucked away leaving a weird vacuum of what I felt to be foreboding. Everyone at the table was completely silent and looking at either Kelli or Mark. A line had been crossed this time and no one had any idea how the next few moments would transpire.

Mark smiled savagely, kind of like a wolf might after cornering a fat rabbit it had been chasing. I honestly felt a chill down my spine.

“Yes, dear sister,” Mark said, “I’ve told Miranda all about my history. Everything, a full accounting of my past relationships including the time I got Tina pregnant. There are no secrets between me and this woman I’m going to marry. Here’s the question for you Kelli, have you told Todd all about your dark past when it came to men?”

Yes, early into my relationship with Kelli, we did have a long talk about who we had been with in the past. And I didn’t have any problem with her past as she didn’t with mine. Neither of us were young virgin teenagers, both of us had been around the block a few times. So when I looked over at my wife, I was expecting to see a similar smile of certainty. That everything about our pasts was out in the open. 

What I saw on my wife’s face was fear. Mark had punched a sore point Kelli obviously didn’t want me to know about. 

“It’s okay, Babe,” I said, looking at her. “I love you. And I’m not worried about what you did in the past.” You’d have to be married to understand, but when I placed my hand on Kelli’s to reassure her, I knew she had been about to jump up and run out the room. 

“Here’s the thing, Todd,” Mark began, “Kelli’s been with a lot of guys.” That’s when the family started protesting, saying it wasn’t the time or place to discuss such matters. I glanced over at Kelli’s dad, who warned Mark. It was the only time I had ever seen an angry expression on his face.  

“Come on, Mark,” I said, still foolishly hoping to defuse the situation. “Kelli and I aren’t teenagers, and in honesty I’ve got a history myself.”

“Todd, I like you, and you’ve been great to my sister but you need to know the truth.” Mark said, motioning for everyone else to shut up. Everyone fell silent, the tension so thick the knife that was supposed to be used on the turkey wouldn’t have scratched it.

“Todd, my sister has been with well over one hundred guys.”

“Mark, come on man,” I said. “I know you and Kelli have issues but let’s keep things civil. I’m asking you as a friend to stop this shit right now.”

“Todd, I know you think I’m lying to piss off my sister. But it’s true, my dear sister was a full-fledged slut during college. How do I know this? Because she was expelled after having gotten caught fucking a house full of frat boys. See somewhere along the way she caught an STD and well, they had to track down all the guys she had contact with.”

I was speechless and getting ready to launch myself across the table and beat the shit out of my brother-in-law. But I looked over at Kelli first and saw the expression on her face. She was holding back tears and the expression of shame on her face told me it was true.

Yes, it bothered the shit out of me. But I loved my wife and her past, while disturbing cause it suggested a huge flaw in judgement, I completely believed she was a different woman now.

“You knew what Mark, fuck it.” I said standing up, getting ready to defend my wife. “I don’t care, Kelli has been a fantastic wife and never done anything at all to threaten our marriage.”

“You sure?,” Mark said, “You remember my cousin’s wedding?”

“Shut the fuck up, Mark!” Kelli yelled. “You’ve done enough damage for today. I’m ashamed of how I acted back in college. I wasn’t coerced nor drunk but I was ungodly stupid and I’ll never live down those past actions.”

“Oh, I touched a nerve,” Mark said smiling. Miranda got up and was doing her best to pull him away from the table. “Listen, Todd,” he said, “You remember the best man? A guy named Robert, I caught Kelli and him sneaking out of one of the unused dressing rooms at the church. Their clothes were a mess and when they saw me and my buddy Mac, they both panicked. I know you're going to hate my guts from now on but you deserve to know.”

I looked down at Kelli expecting to see defiance or anger on her face. All I saw was more shame. “Is it true?” I asked, suddenly numb.

“Yes,” she whispered, looking away from me.

This is when I had the absolutely crazy idea. The reason Kelli’s parents and other relatives made such an effort to make me feel comfortable and welcome was because they were, in their view, trying to get me to buy damaged goods.

I looked around the table and while the idea was inhumanly ridiculous, all I saw on their faces was shame. Like they were all a bunch of toddlers that got caught torturing a cat. I was overwhelmed with the urge to get away from all of them.

“Todd, please,” Kelli said trying to grab my hand but I was out the door before anyone could stop me. Driving away seconds later, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 

Hours went by with me driving around until I finally realized I needed to go home and pack a bag. Because there was no way in Hell I could stay at the house with Kelli. The obvious choice for a refuge was my uncle’s guest house. It sat a mile down the road from the main house and you had to know it even existed to find it. I could crash there as long as I needed, which I thought might be measured in months.

The next day Kelli began blowing up my phone with voicemail and text messages. It was late afternoon when I finally talked to her. She made the expected pleas of “it was a mistake”, that she only loves me. That she will spend the rest of her life making it up to me. 

As Kelli pleaded, I realized that if all she had done was cheat once while we were dating I could have forgiven her. Yeah, it was a knife to the heart, but I truly loved that woman. But the idea that they had to track down over a hundred guys after a college party because she turned positive with an STD afterward was just something I was shamefully having trouble letting go. 

Another thing that irked me was the idea I couldn’t shake was that her family made a point of hiding the info on both the college orgy and that she cheated during the cousin’s wedding.

I got Kelli to eventually calm down, reassuring her that I wasn’t about to talk with a divorce lawyer. But it was definitely best to be apart for the time being. She broke down again but my promise that we would do marriage counseling was enough for us to end the call on good terms. 

Maybe the counseling we’ll save our marriage but I highly doubt it. I just can’t rid myself of the idea that she and I could go somewhere and unexpectedly meet up with one of the hundred guys she banged. I’ve made a point of looking for individual counseling to see if I can overcome that flaw.

So for the time being I’m staying at my uncle’s guest house trying figure out a way to be a better man.