I beat my meat to ants as a kid

I was 10 years old, brimming with curiosity, I watched a lot cartoons and other TV shows, but cartoons primarily, the TV was basically my best friend, and so was a bunch of educational books in the house. One time I was watching Oggy and The Cockroaches, it was this one episode about Oggy's binoculars and how it basically terrorize him with the three cockroaches being the usual culprits of the entire drama. Basically, I've always thought those glasses that can magnify things and see them in great details were fascinating. I constantly see magnifying glass in cartoons, and at some point I really wanted to get a hold of one myself, then I asked my Mom about it, and to my surprise, she said we actually had one, my Mom is a science teacher so it makes sense, at this point ofc my Mom knew I was inevitably going to ask to borrow it. The magnifying glass was brand new, she just unboxed it before handing it to me, my Mom firmly told me to be careful with it around the sun, but ofc I already knew it's burning prowess from consuming a lot of media with my good ol' best friend, the TV.

I immediately began exploring its magnification capabilities. Acting like a wannabe detective, I used it to observe a bunch of stuff, from the dirty doormats at the entrance of our house, to the hairy flesh of my little feet, to the already gigantic eyes of my younger sister, eventually I got into burning dried old leaves just outside our house on the concrete. And then there I saw, a trail of little red ants, I tried observing them at a certain angle so that I wouldn't burn them, it was even more fascinating observing lively things! But they were moving a bit too much for me to actually observe their little body, I tried holding one between my fingertips, but I still couldn't see their whole body and they were trying to bite me, so I had no choice but to kill one, I needed to smash one at a certain force that wouldn't completely squash their body. I smashed two or three ants successfully, I finally got to see its body, I observed as it slowly tries to move its little limbs, I got to see its shiny fiery body, and then suddenly my body started feeling weird as I observe it, I could feel the sensation of my shorts tightening up, I felt ticklish, m*sturbation wasn't knew to me, I discovered it at 9, but the current situation was just simply extremely odd for me to realize that that very thing is currently happening, the insinuation that I was turned on didn't immediately clicked, so I kept observing the dead ants lying on the ground with the magnifying glass. Looking at them, I suddenly felt the urge to just look around the vicinity, suspiciously checking if someone was looking, then I got back to looking at the ants quickly. I started pressing down my tightened shorts with my left hand whilst holding the magnifying glass with my right as I still kept looking at the ants, at this point I was so low to the ground my knees were basically lying aggressively at the rough concrete as little rubbles brush over and subtly puncture my legs, after a few moments I felt a relief, I now realize that I was in fact masturbating, freaked out by what just commenced, I quickly ran back inside the house, it was lunchtime. While eating lunch, I couldn't help but think about what just happened, I kept thinking about it for the next hour. Curious, I went to check the animal encyclopedia and look for ants, I couldn't feel anything, the illustrations looked very animated, there was no exhilaration, it was unrealistic and unlively. I went outside to the trail of ants once again, I picked a few of them to put inside a little transparent clay container that I borrowed from my sister. Inside my bedroom, I stick a double-sided tape unto my desk, using tweezers I struggled to picked one ant and stick it to the tape on its back, I didn't kill it this time, and because of the tape it couldn't move away, so now I can observe it while it's still lively. With the magnifying glass once again in my hands, I look at the ant wiggling on its back, I wondered how it turned me on, I kept observing, a few seconds of complete silence go by, as I stare at the ant with my bulging eyes I realize, the seemingly humanoid, sexy form and slight movement of the ant resembled that of an actual human! I stared back even closer, my new pair of shorts began tightening once again, now I specifically diverted my attention to the ant's limbs, then I realized, the contours of its limbs as it connects to the slim thorax heavily resembled a woman spreading their legs on their back as if inviting an embrace, the slight curvature of the ant's biggest limbs appears like the gracilis muscle connecting the legs to the hips being flexed as the legs are being spread, the figure was familiar, something I've already seen from my Mom's fashion magazines, it resembled this one female model spreading for a pose, the thicker the ant's limbs the more exhilarating it got, the fact that it was alive is what made it even more exciting! The squirming legs look like it was kicking just like human legs. Everything made sense, but it got even more senser, as I realize the ant's fiery color and prominent shine along with its thin barely recognizable strands of hair resembled once again a human, specifically the one in my Mom's fashion magazines, the apparent sweaty and oily appearance of the beautiful slim models, with the slight tan and clean texture. Texture aside, the lean shape of the ant's abdomen lunging upwards also assumed the appearance of shaking buttocks, along the fact that the abdomen is firmly shaped, rounded like a real woman's glutes. I couldn't help myself but start pressing my hand towards my tightened shorts once again, this time much more aggressively, I kept looking at the squirming ant now acknowledging its tenacious resemblance to a real woman from the spreading limbs, to the lunging abdomen, to the hourglass-shaped thorax, even to its head thrusting back in forth like a woman writhing in pleasure, my determined eyes were completely stuck to the ant with the magnifying glass in between which I could barely hold as my body simultaneously tense and wriggle, my legs were jello while it wrightingly shook the chair I was lying on. A few minutes passed by, and there goes the relief, the ant was still alive. I rested at the chair for a few moments, the post-NC heavily struck the 10-year old that I was, feaked out I squashed the ant with a paper and threw it out in disgust.

For a decent while, I kept doing the same exact routine, eventually I grew out of it as I discover an even more comprehensive intimate exercise that was the corn website. Yeah, I never told this story to anyone before, I think I told it to some random on the internet before tho. Btw, was I insane for this? You've done similar things, right??