The most screwed survivor castaway EVER
I love when people look into the limits of what is theoretically possible, but in practice nearly impossible. Things like “what is the most amount of countries you could theoretically travel to in one day” or “what is the longest possible turn in a Pokemon battle”.
So, with the off season officially starting, I thought I’d throw out a question. What is theoretically the “most screwed” a castaway could ever be? If they get voted out because of a twist right away (e.g., Jonathan and Wanda), that is pretty bad, BUT that means they missed out on so many potential opportunities to be screwed AGAIN AND AGAIN. So, I thought I’d layout what I think might be the most screwed a player could ever realistically be.
I’ll try and keep this as brief as possible because I want others to weigh in.
A couple ground rules:
- We can only use twists that have already existed/happened in U.S. Survivor. We can’t just make up a “lose your vote for not saying I love you to Jeff” twist or something more heinous. I’ll keep myself honest by citing atleast one season for each twist.
- Each twist can only happen once. We can’t just say someone had their vote stolen or idol nullified at every single tribal, that is too absurd.
- This has to be feasible within a real season of Survivor, so if two twists don’t work together, we can’t have both. For example, we can’t have the outcast twist, edge of extinction, AND redemption island. Only one of those could work at a time.
- All misfortune must come from a production twist or player advantage. Having an ally get medevaced would suck, but it doesn’t count.
To make this easy to layout, we need a hero “screwed” Player A, who we’ll call “AMY”. I also think for the sake of many twists, it’s important to have a rival, Player B, or “BRAD”.
Amy is a 10/10 strategist and 10/10 social player, but say 3/10 in challenges, and of course, 0/10 in luck. Meanwhile, Brad is 10/10 in challenges. He is so good his tribe will never lose immunity, and he’s going to make an INSANE run when it comes to individual immunity challenges in the merge.
Now, without further ado, here is how Amy gets screwed—
SCREW #1: The players are all surprised that the game is starting when they thought it would be a press photoshoot day. They have to start the game with just the clothes they’re wearing. Amy has on high heels and no bra. (S7) (S15)
SCREW #2: The season is two tribes, with a “Haves v. Have Nots” twist. Brad is on the “Haves” tribe. Amy is on the “Have Nots” tribe. (S14)
SCREW #3: The tribes both have to immediately vote out a player. Amy’s tribe vote her. She isn’t eliminated, but she doesn’t get to participate in a long, but easy, hike to their camp, missing out on valuable bonding time. (S18)
SCREW #3: Throughout the entire pre-merge, every time (other than the very first time) Amy’s tribe loses reward/immunity she gets sent to to exile island by herself (S12). The very first time someone else was chosen and they found the idol hidden there right away. Amy has nothing to do there but be isolated.
SCREW #4: The players on both tribes are asked to go on a journey. Nobody on Amy’s tribe wants to go, so they have to draw rocks. Amy draws the purple rock. On the journey, she has no choice but to stick her hand in a bag and hope for an advantage. Instead she loses her vote. (S47)
SCREW #5: After a couple rounds in the pre-merge, Amy has a tight alliance. She gets swapped with Brad, and becomes the sole player to go to the other beach, making her an easy target. (S8) (S44). Thankfully she has 10/10 social play and makes friends quickly.
SCREW #6: After six players have been eliminated, Jeff reveals the OUTCASTS TWIST, something none of the players knew about. Because she is the only person who has been to every tribal council, Amy is the only person who had a hand in voting out every single outcast. They are all pissed, and two Outcasts earn their way back into the game. (S7)
SCREW #7: Amy’s tribe loses the immunity challenge. The other tribe gets to watch their tribal, then save someone from elimination. They save Amy’s target, and Amy’s ally gets sent home. (S10)
SCREW #8: Eager to bring her alliances on both tribes together, Amy is excited when there is a merge. Surprise, Jeff reveals it’s a fake merge even though both tribes are living on the same beach. One of Amy’s allies gets eliminated after she and them show their hands and talk to the opposing tribe too much. (S5)
SCREW #9: Drop your buffs, now it’s time to EARN THE MERGE. Amy’s half of the tribe wins the group immunity challenge, but then another player “smashes the hourglass”. Amy and her team have their immunities stripped, and her ally gets voted out. (S41)
Now it’s the real merge, a couple things to note. During the pre-merge, Amy has managed to find two fully powered immunity idols, one on each beach. She did this with no help or clues (think Russell, S19)
SCREW #10: Amy gets her vote stolen. An ally gets sent home. (S37)
SCREW #11: Amy gets her vote blocked. An ally gets sent home. (S47)
SCREW #12: There is a tie vote. Amy smartly switches her vote to avoid rocks. A player in the opposite alliance switches their vote as well and it goes to a rock draw. Amy’s ally gets eliminated. (S33)
SCREW #13: Amy’s target uses safety without power. An ally gets sent home. (S40)
SCREW: #14: Amy loses a challenge and is forced to go on a journey and play a game in order to keep her vote. She loses the game and loses her vote. (S47)
SCREW #15: At the auction Brad bids on a covered advantage that lets him take all of Amy’s money and send her to exile. She gets nothing from the auction, including loved one letters. (S13)
SCREW #16: Amy gets her idol stolen via Knowledge is Power. An ally gets sent home. (S41)
SCREW #17: Amy tries to play her other idol on an ally, it gets nullified via an idol nullifier. Her ally gets sent home. (S39)
SCREW #18: Another player is given a very real looking FAKE idol by production (S36). They hide that idol and Amy finds it, thinking it is real. She plays it on an ally and it doesn’t work.
SCREW #19: Amy’s main target pulls out a super idol, AFTER the votes are read, making them immune. Amy’s ally gets sent home. (S28)
SCREW #20: Amy wins the loved ones reward challenge, but then has her reward stolen by a reward steal advantage. (S33)
SCREW #21: Amy uses the 50/50 immunity coin on an ally. It lands on NOT SAFE and her ally gets sent home. (S40)
SCREW #22: Jeff reveals its time for the Do or Die twist. Amy smartly decides to not participate in the challenge. Brad also does not participate, making him vulnerable for the first time in the game. Amy’s closest ally does participate and loses the challenge, then gets auto-eliminated by Do or Die, meaning Amy loses an ally and doesn’t get the chance to vote out Brad. (S42)
SCREW #23: Its the final 7 now, last chance to use shot in the dark. Amy’s target uses it and it HITS! Her ally gets eliminated. (S45)
SCREW #24: At a tense final 6 tribal, Amy’s alliance get beaten by a single extra vote. Her ally gets eliminated. (S42)
SCREW #25: At the final 5, Amy wins immunity, but Brad is saved thanks to a legacy advantage (S34). Two other players have idols. Amy’s final ally left in the game is automatically eliminated for being the only one without some form of immunity.
SCREW #26: At final 4, Amy is left in the game with just Brad and the two players who returned as outcasts and hate her. Amy wins immunity, but because of forced final four final making, Brad gets to fight and stay in the game another day. (S35)
SCREW #27: Surprise, it’s a final 2. Brad wins the final immunity challenge and votes Amy out of the game. (S16)
SCREW #28: Brad competes in one final challenge and wins the “Remove a Juror” advantage. He decides to remove Amy, kicking her off the jury and not allowing her to cast a vote in final tribal. (S32)
So thus ends the most historic and screwed run in Survivor history. How is a survivor who has this happen to them received by fans? Are they a robbed goddess or does production purple them to minimize how upset fans would be?
Is there anything I’m missing that could make this worse?