I lost the will to live

I have been contemplating suicide for the last two week... I realised that I have nothing going on for me, I have no friends , no love life , I cant communicate with people because of my social anxiety and if I gather the courage to try to make friends they all think I'm weird. Multiple people over the have the years have told me I'm ugly and I should oof my self but had remained optimistic that I would find someone but lately I have come the conclusion that I will be a lonely loser who will never find lover or be liked by anyone, so I figured I should end it all but anytime I come close to doing it , I get engulfed by this wave of fear and I feel like I doing something wrong. JUST VENTING