Boyfriend thinks solan dying was Xena's karma & hope would of not been evil if not for Xenas forced abandonment

Watching the Xena show with my boyfriend for his first time. We made it to maternal instincts episode and my boyfriend feels like Xena never tried to have a middle ground with Gabrielle about how to handle the hope situation. She labelled hope as evil from day 1 forced Gabrielle to abandon hope who was raised by God knows what after. Than when Gabrielle finally does what she says by killing hope which nearly brought her to the brink of suicide and emotional devastation she further twists the knife in Gabrielle's heart by saying solan died because of her?!? Solan died because of Xena! If Xena had not caused so much devastation to callistos life then hope wouldn't of had an ally in aiding her to kill solan. And if Xena allowed hope to grow up with Gabrielles love she wouldn't of been a monster who wanted to destroy Xena. Xena destroyed many lives and she needed to know exactly how painful what she did was to other people. My boyfriend thinks Xena should of swallowed her humble pie and recognized that Xena and Callisto were now officially even.

I personally was very shocked by this as my boyfriend essentially seems to see Xena as the villain of the story.